The Test

I have always thought of procrastination as putting those little things off that you just keep telling yourself you will get to later. I guess today was my later. I have lived in North Carolina for 2 1/2 years. I should have gotten my North Carolina Drivers License 60 days after moving here. I kept telling myself I would get around to it. The truth was that I was afraid to take the test. I was sure I would fail it. Not because I don't know the rules of driving, but just because it would be one more bad situation to add to my long running list.

Well, circumstances have forced it on me. Wouldn't you know it? When people found out that I was going to take the test, each and every one of them had another horror story about the crazy confusing questions and how, if it wasn't them, they all knew people who failed it at least once as an adult. We are talking about seasoned drivers failing a test that almost every 16 year old kid takes and passes just so they can torment us while on the road. If they can do it, shouldn't I be able to pass too? That was the question weighing my mind for days.

So, after studying the book for hours last night, I walk into the DMV. I go up to the reception desk. The nice man behind the counter looks at me and asks, "Do you have your old drivers license?" "Why yes sir, I do." Then he looks at me with a strange gleam in his eye and asks me (I swear, as fast as he could) "Do you also have your birth certificate, Social Security Card, proof of insurance and a utility bill with your current address?" Now this question might seem reasonable until you see that I am literally shaking and could not understand a word he said. So I, politely, ask him to please repeat the question....3 times! Finally understanding what he was requesting I tell him "Why no sir, I do not. But, I will be back". He just grins with that same gleam in his eye as I head for the door.

OK, so if I wasn't already feeling the true blond moment, walking through that gantlet of a crowd to get to the door made me realize that they had all seen and heard the whole thing. Trying not to imagine the chuckles as I leave, I stand up strait and hold my head up high while I slink out the door and climb into my car. I only live 5 minutes down the road, so running home to retrieve the rest of the documents was not big deal, and the break might give me time to pull myself together.

A few minutes later I walk back up to the counter with my documents in hand and give them to the same nice man. He then asks, with a nice volume to his voice, "have you read the book?" "Yes I have" I say "Thank you for asking". He points to a chair and I go sit down. I swear, that last question was just a way to mess with my head. As soon as I sat down, I saw each person around me reviewing a sheet with all of the road signs on it. "Oh Shoot! I don't have that!" Thinking fast, I whip out my heavily reviewed book and find the same information in the book. So I nonchalantly review the information on road signs and then put the book back in my purse, only to pull it out again to read through it one more time while I wait. Well, lets make that 3 or 4 times.

About an hour later I am called up to my designated station. The look on the woman's face as I walked up made me want to turn and run. All I can say is thank God for the dummy in line behind me talking on his cell phone and my gift of gab. As soon as he started his phone conversation, the woman reviewing my paperwork started complaining about people talking on cell phones while she is trying to work. I am not ashamed to say that I joined right in with a huge "Don't you just love me" kind of smile. HA! It totally worked. Next thing you know, we are best buds.

With my mind somewhat at ease, I flew through the sign test. I had them memorized. Then she started filling in my information before I took the rest of the test. The whole time she kept looking at the utility bill that is used to verify my address. So, I stealth-fully gazed over to see what she was seeing. OOOH NOOOO! The date of the bill was from April of 2010. Remember the 60 day rule for getting an NC drivers license. Well, I think it was pretty obvious that I had missed that deadline. Woops. So I play innocent and start chatting about what ever flew into my mind. I was so nervous, I don't ever remember what I talked to her about. OK, yes I do. I told her I hadn't taken a drivers license test in 25 years and that I was scared to death. Again, my hands were shaking like a leaf. She looked at me grinned and said "Oh don't worry about it honey. You will be just fine." Then she turns my documents over and slides them back to me. I love that woman!

Next step is the computer. The computer!! SCORE! I had heard that if you take the test on a computer you get to skip questions and answer the ones you know. I get through 3 questions and know the answers, no problem. Then questions start coming up about things that I didn't read about in the book. Not because it wasn't there, but because I thought it was just generalized information. I thought the test was based on the rules of driving, not the fluff in between. Ugh. I skipped 7 questions in total. Then I answered another 12 missing one on a confusing question about the point system and consequences. I swear it was a trick question. Anyway, I get to the end of the remaining questions and realize that all I have left are some of the questions I had already skipped. So I finish those with best guess answers. LOL I missed one more. I am proud to say that even after not reviewing the whole book (yes I have learned my lesson) and giving my best guess's,I PASSED! YES I DID AND THE FIRST TIME AROUND TOO! Take that you 16 year old show offs.

When it is my time to get my picture taken, the man from the front desk walks to the camera and takes over just as I sit in the chair in front of the beautiful old blue sheet used as a background. Really? He had to come back for my picture? So now he is cracking jokes. I can never tell if he is joking with me, or if he is making fun of me. Either way, the fate of my license is in his hands. So I play along and giggle and laugh. He finally asks me "So, how is Peter doing?". "Peter?" I think. "Who is Peter". Boy I tell you, if there was ever a time to think fast, this was it. So I look him straight in the eye and tell him "It's a shame. He is all grown up now." Well that got his attention. At first I thought I had offended him. Then he started laughing so hard he about fell out of his seat. After pulling himself together he explained to me that he has at least one Wendy come in each day. He has been asking that same question for several years. I was the first to get the joke. He couldn't believe it. After that, I think I finally had his respect. He even let me re-take my photo. Yes it is still awful, but at least I got a second chance.

This time as I walked out the door, I waved to my best bud who was doing her best to make the next victim shake in their boots and told the nice man behind the counter to have a nice day. They both look at me, smile and say "Happy New Year". And oh, what a happy new year this is going to be!