Trapped?

 I think the greatest myth I have had to overcome was believing, that just because I stayed home with my children and did not go to school, I was trapped. I thought that, because I was not contributing financially now, I had to stay in an unhappy marriage to be able to support my children. I thought that, because I did not have a degree, I could not find a job that would allow me to support my children on my own. I thought that, because I do not have a formal education, I will never be successful and/or respectable.  I wanted out of my marriage, I wanted a job I loved and I wanted to go to school and learn what ever I was interested in. But I believed my own myth. I believed I was trapped.

Well guess what? It took some difficult circumstances for me to finally wake up and see reality for what it is, but I did it. I finally realized that I was only as trapped as I allowed myself to be. My previous life experiences were a gift, not a burden, and they were never holding me back. Now I am on my own. I am no longer in an unhappy relationship. I am supporting my children. My life is so much more peaceful.

I have a job that I love with a company who not only allows me to experiment in new fields, but supports me completely and is even helping to pay for me to go to school. I started at this job believing that I was only fit to be an administrative assistant, and even that felt like a stretch. Now I am moving into the IT field and going to school for computer networking. I realized that just because a switch like this has never been done before, within my company, that was not going to stop me from learning what I wanted to learn and doing what I really want to do. Soon, I will be in a position to make a triple digit salary.

I know that I am like thousands of other women out there. Woman who feel “trapped” and can’t see a way out.  You are not, and never really were “trapped.” You are the only one holding you back. You create your future. If you think you are “trapped” because of a certain person, or people, think again. You can’t actually change who those people choose to be. Instead, choose not be around those people.  Your circumstances do not control you. You control your circumstances.

While these statements are true, sometimes these major changes feel too big, and even impossible. So, just like me, you give up over and over again. If you are not happy with your life, and you don’t think you can make the required major changes today, then start small. Maybe it is something as simple as wearing your shoes all day, while at home, so that you can take all of the physical trash and clutter out of your home, one piece at a time, and throwing it in the trash. That one step will help you on your way to finding your own freedom.  Soon you will find yourself wearing your emotional tennis shoes and tossing out emotional clutter as well. I know, this is exactly how I started, and it works.

I have thought about what I would do, if given the tools and the chance. I would help as many people as I can, to release themselves from their own prisons. I have spent my life feeling “trapped” by one thing after another and never feeling like I had control of my own life. Now I know the truth. Now I know that I was only ever as “trapped” as I believed myself to be. It was always up to me, just as it is always up to you.

Have you started tying those shoe laces yet?